Curator’s note: these entries by Mr. O’Flaherty have been translated from crude code.
3 April 1871
Learning more gentry stuff. Gents don’t say bugger off to unwanted callers, they have butler say yer not in. Still seems like lying.
Got interviewed by some little pressman today. Trying to make me say something not true, no doubt. He gave me some good info about some local pugilist, though. Can’t be any good with a name like Gentleman Jimmy. Half the fighters I know would want to poke you in the eye for general principle with a name like that.
I’m having a harder time figgering gentry
parenting. I’ve seen the governess and sometimes the other
watching adults tell the child stealing is wrong and don’t
go off climbing. Then when they find they needs some stealing
and climbing done, they ask the child. If you tell little Pat
it’s wrong to kick Grandma on a Saturday, Thursday shouldn’t
be any different. Although I was probably to harsh in saying so.
None of these ladies came up as poor as I did. When times became
too tight to hang onto principles, you still teach the wee ones
that they still are there. It’s not proper to go right to
the child and say steal just because they haen to be the best
at it. In my neighborhood it would have been “Well, there’s
only one fence and a blind dog between us and that apple tree,
and we’re so hungry. It’s a good thing you know better
than to steal, Seamus Little Pat”
Bah, working into the small hours writing,
good night.
4 April 1871
Bugger pressman and damn them to their ink pumping hearts.
The league sorted more things out today. They
did the work, I got undeserved credit. Bugger the Bury Times.
6 April 1871
Can’t figger out the Inspector at all.
Sharp enough to work out all that criminal stuff and can’t
see right in front of his face in regards to a lady and her family’s
attentions. Fah! I wager there will never be a wedding for that
one. Lovely girl, too. I would try to make myself presentable
if it weren’t the introduction by way of my break and enter
foolishness.
7 April 1871
(note: entry not coded)
She showed it to me to see me riled! She did
it on purpose! She didn’t want no autograph or talk, she
wanted to watch me sputter, I know it! The little puppetmaster.
9 April 1871
Easter. The Copperthwaites gave lovely gifts and a real feast today. Can’t really stay mad at Lady Copperthwaite, especially after all we’ve been through to now. But I’m keeping my eye out.
16 April 1871
Back in London this week. Been doing even more extreme things with my training. I feel no man could ever defeat me in the ring now. Trouble is, there’s no rings for me to fight in so far as I can find. Not asking the right people, apparently.
The Globe and The Daily Gazette have some astonishing
news as to what Les and the Doc are up to. Considering the excitement,
I’m almost disappointed Les didn’t ask me to come with
him. There have been minor incidents, but lately all I’ve
been doing is Easter gatherings or weddings or what have you.
I’ve never had so much time on my hands and yet I’m
doing so very little. Small wonder the gentry are mostly headers.
21 April 1871
Have been called upon to be a speaker on the subject of exercise and health at the Norwood Sporting Society. At last, something important!
Half Penny Marvel-at-the-Buggerall still printing jibberish that I don’t even recognize with my name on it. Attempts to contact my Lawyer and the publisher here has not worked. Damn.
Weekly Companion is giving me some idea as
to what the Doc is up to. Though it’s probably balderdash,
too.
23 April 1871
Big article today about what the Doc, Obidiah, and Les have been up to. Mr. Oliphant wrote up some of Les’s career highlights in another article. Didn’t mention what we did that one time in Buffalo, but it’s for the best I suppose.
25 April 1871
Started reading this story in London Illustrated
Weekly. Good to read some stories where no one that I know is
involved. The villain might be based on Dr. Fate. Saw Comedy of
Errors and Richard the Third last night with some of the League.
Parts of it hard to make out. Just sounded like tumpty tumpty
half the time. They need some American actors there to show how
to speak Shakespeare. I still enjoyed J Booth’s Richard when
I was younger, may he burn in hell.
27 April 1871
Mr. Graham’s play seems to be doing well. I need to see it, a new play is probably better than sitting through a poor reading of Shakespeare. More drivel from Ha-Penny this week. It seems that my heart stirs for a French Lady who is a master with a sword. The only swordmistress I know of would more likely perforate my liver.
Weekly Companion has some scribbling about
the Doc. Likely the same level of accuracy. I sure hope everything
turned out alright with the boat.
30 April 1871
Went to see Mr. Graham’s play with the Copperthwaite family on Friday. A real corker! Well done Mr. Graham.
The Newsboys are back on the street with one
paper. Telegraph doesn’t seem half bad, at that. Good to
see that Lord Greyminster’s speaking tour seems to be gathering
more support and attention for the subject. I’d like to see
some rag like the Bury Times have the goolies to cover something
like the important work of the Society of Young Mothers and Infants.
Like to see that I would. Bugger the Bury Times.
6 May 1871
Haven’t written in a while. Not much to report. Bango practicing back on track. Was sounding really horrible for a while, but I found out that the strings shift and you have to turn the keys to correct that. I think I even made Eldridge dance for a spell upstairs. Ha Ha
Mr. Graham apparently has his play moving up in the world.
More stuff about me and Doc Rocket in the papers.
I can’t find the Dr. Fate one anymore. Shame, I wanted to
see how they wrote Stinky. Haha.
11 May 1871
Speaking engagement a success! Even the papers
wrote it and didn’t have me swinging from the chandeliers
to save some Arabian Princess or somesuch.
17 May 1871
Was called upon for some more speaking today. Must investigate Ruggy Football.
Some nasty men tried to bully those Newsboys. Bet they didn’t figger on someone bigger than a child being there, I’ll wager. Serves them right. Not much of a scuffle either, didn’t even make it to #12 of my new regimen.
Mrs. Ploppy made some outstanding stew tonight.
18 May 1871
More drivel from the papers this week. At least
I know that Les and the Doc are all right, but I don’t think
they realize how dangerous that former Reb is.
Proceed to Delusional fantasies
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