The news of the sinking of the HMS Captain is causing great dismay and disruption. Sir Cosmo is very upset. His current business partner in the shipyards, Mr Reed, apparently tried to warn the Navy of the ship's unsound design, but in the end could do nothing but resign his place with the Navy to protest the project. Lord Greyminster is also very angry.

The sinking of an entire ship, and the loss of so many officers and crew, seems to affect people of all stations. Even the servants are affected, as many of the crews of naval vessels come from labouring and domestic families.

This event is certain to have ramifications to Sir Cosmo's business concerns. What they will be remains to be seen.

Friday, 9 September, 1870
(Goxhill)

Miss Chigwidgeon said the most astonishing thing to me today. As we were out riding this afternoon, she asked me why I was waiting to marry Mr Frazer. She went on to say that she was hoping I would marry before her, so that she could see an English wedding before she had to go through her own. I was entirely outdone! I should know better than to imagine that Miss Chigwidgeon will think like my sisters, or react to situations like any typical Englishwoman.

Her comment has given me pause. I can hardly rush off and get married immediately, though, having told everyone that we would wait. Mr Frazer surely needs more time to prepare!

(Letter to Lady Ottoline Cornwall)

Friday, 9 September
Goxhill Manor

Dear Lady Ottoline...

I hope you will forgive my boldness, but I am hoping to ask a favor.

I have learned from Emily that your school has a plunge bath. I have felt for some time that it would be wise for me to learn how to swim, or at least how to save myself from drowning. Would it inconvenience you if I were to join in with whatever swimming practice you offer to the young ladies of the school?

I am expecting to return to London in just over a week with Sir Cosmo and rest of our household. My usual free day is Wednesday, but I believe that I could arrange for some other time if it were more convenient.

If this plan is acceptable to you, please let me know what I can offer to repay your kindness. I could offer a modest sum to defray the expense of the use of the pool and the time of your instructor. Perhaps I could assist you by providing instruction to your pupils in one of my areas of expertise.

I look forward to your reply.

Sincere regards,

Miss Ruth Evelyn Sinclair

Wednesday, 14 September 1870
(Goxhill)

Lord Greyminster seems to be enjoying the company. He has continued to find reasons for us to remain "just a little longer." Of course, many of us have work and other plans which require our presence in Town. Sir Cosmo, for instance, must attend to his business concerns with the rail lines and the new shipyards. Edward will be accompanying him, and so then will I. The exact count of the traveling retinue is not entirely determined.

A portion of our party will be traveling to London during each week and returning to Goxhill on Fridays. This is a lot of train travel, but at least I will be able to see Mr Frazer fairly often. This situation may require some attention to the observance of propriety, but we will think of something. Mrs Cuthbert will be staying in Town, after all, and Emily will be accompanying us as well. And I am a grown woman.

Thursday, 15 September 1870
(Goxhill)

I had a letter from Mr Frazer today. He mentioned that Inspector MacGregor has been making great headway with the Brixton Horror investigation. Of course, he is learning about a whole world that most of us would prefer not to contemplate. The more we hear, the more we wonder how this can have gone on so long.

Saturday, 17 September 1870
(Goxhill–early afternoon)

I was helping Edward pack a few things (making sure that he brings clothing as well as projects), and we came across some materials from Lord Greyminster's library which Edward had been reading. Lord Greyminster apparently keeps duplicate records to the County Registrar's (no doubt a safety measure should anything befall the original records). Edward had been looking into the antecedents of the Rossiter family, and showed me where he had traced several intermarriages between Rossiter and Moriarty families. This explains the resemblance. I had no idea that the Moriarty family was from this area. I made sure that Edward put the records back where they belonged.
He also proudly showed me a fine new copy of Sir Thomas Rossiter's Beetles of the North Country, which he had received as a gift from Sir Cosmo. It featured some very good observations on the differentiation of some very similar species. I hope I can read it through before I next meet with Sir Thomas.

We are not to depart without yet another party. The outdoor party two weeks ago was such a success that Lord Greyminster resolved to have one more before the weather starts to turn colder. Fortunately, I have completed all but the last bits of my packing (the process is quite refined by now), so I will not suffer tomorrow for lack of sleep tonight.

Sunday, 18 September 1870
(Goxhill)

I can hardly believe it. Sir Cosmo has invited my Mother to visit at Charles Street. He just told me that she will be arriving tomorrow, saying, "Oh, didn't I mention it?"
This was his solution to the matter of adequate companionship while some of us are in Town. I know he meant it to be a kindness, but I can just imagine my Mother's reaction to some of the more unusual goings-on around here. How can I do my job keeping up with Edward, much less cope with assorted spies and killer monkeys?

Our visit to Bridgwater was one thing—it's easier to pretend to be ordinary in such a very ordinary environment. But here in Town-- She's sure to encounter something that will shock her. I cannot possibly give up my Defence Exercises for the duration of her stay. What can I do?

I can at least look forward to seeing Mr Frazer most evenings while we are there. Sir Cosmo indicated willingness to issue a standing invitation to dinner. This will have the added benefit of allowing Edward and me to practice our Arabic with better guidance.

We are just about to leave for the train station, and the footmen have come for my cases.

Tuesday, 20 September 1870
(London)

Yesterday afternoon my Mother arrived. I have been quite occupied with showing her around the place. She was trying to appear calm and at ease, but it was obvious to me that she was beside herself with excitement at the prospect of staying at such a grand establishment.

Her eyebrows spoke volumes as Graves cautioned her discreetly about some of the intruder deterrents. Edward made quite an impression as well.

This morning, I asked Emily to give us exercises which are less obviously combative. Even so, I could see the twitching of the curtain as we worked through our balance and flexibility exercises outside. Mother looked vaguely troubled at breakfast, but said nothing.

Wednesday 21 September, 1870
(London)

Today was Edward's day at the shipyards, and consequently my free day.

I had my first dunking in Lady Ottoline's plunge bath today. I took my instructor's advice and wore only my chemise and drawers for the first trial. Time enough to practice with a full ensemble after I have learned how not to drown.

When I returned to the house, I managed to slip up to my room without Mother seeing me with my hair so thoroughly wet.

In the afternoon, I went out with Mother and showed her some of my favorite millinery shops, and the only place which serves decent meringues in the neighbourhood. I couldn't resist also taking her to the library at the Naturalist Society and introducing her to a few of the gentlemen of my acquaintance who were there. I admit that I was baiting her. She must have known it, though, because she behaved as though there was nothing in the world she preferred to discussing fruit bats and ants. Once we had returned to the carriage and back to Charles Street, she merely commented that I had very interesting acquaintances, but the set of her lips and tone of her voice told me that she did not approve.

This evening I had a long conversation with Mr Frazer about Our Plans.

As I see it, one possible solution to the question of How to Get Rid of My Mother is to get married sooner. I mentioned this to Mr Frazer, and he instantly said that he could get the License tomorrow. I suppose that answers my question about whether he really agreed with my plan to wait or if he was simply deferring to me.

Since Miss Chigwidgeon herself has encouraged me to marry as soon as I might, I see nothing to prevent it. Except...I would hate to appear rushed, I think it would make me seem...desperate.

When I asked Mr Frazer if he had given any further thought to our future residence, he told me that he had received notes both from Mr Cuthbert and from Mrs Cuthbert inviting us to take a suite in their house. As I ponder this, I realise that Mrs Cuthbert must have known all along that we would marry sooner rather than later—no doubt she has seen our future. Everyone seems to think they know best. It's a good thing that my infatuation has made me weak-willed, or I might put this wedding off just to spite everyone. As it is, I don't seem to mind, as long as I get Mr Frazer.

I asked Mr Frazer if he had any furniture he wanted to accommodate in our new place. He looked dubious. He finally said that he really didn't have much that would be suitable. The house in Sudbury has all the family things, but they are in use by the current tenants.
My family has a couple of nice pieces which are intended for me, but it's hardly enough to fill a house. I am fairly certain, however, that the rooms in #12 are all furnished, so it's not critical at present. Though we might find our rooms furnished with a stuffed American Bison.

Thursday, 22 September, 1870
(London)

I have at last seen the schematics for Edwards latest project. It is hardly believable. He is building a diving suit with clockwork systems made to assist with manoeuvering and working under the water. It is larger than a person, and equipped with a kind of seat and a complex control panel.

Edward has been in earnest consultation with Mr Reed, who seems to think it will work. Two working models are in production now. One of them, at Edward's insistence, is built to fit Miss Chigwidgeon, and is to be a wedding present for her. Edward has asked me to test it when it is near completion, as I am of similar size to Miss Chigwidgeon.

The project certainly sounds intriguing! I am quite interested in seeing some aquatic life in its natural environment.

I might have to try to dissuade him from some of the decorative details he has pictured in his sketches, as they are not entirely in good taste.

Saturday, 24 September 1870

We returned to Goxhill last night. Mother stayed in London–thank goodness! I can't stand another minute of her watching me. Mother says she wants to do some shopping and sightseeing in Town. Mrs Cuthbert has offered to entertain her, and Stuart has promised to keep her safe.

This afternoon, I invited Miss Chigwidgeon to accompany me for some archery practise. Once we were privately situated, I asked her to tell me truly whether she would be hurt or annoyed, or think it unfair, if I were to marry Mr Frazer before her wedding to Sir Cosmo. She continued to express enthusiasm for the prospect. As she is not one to conceal her feelings, I suppose I can take her word.

Dear Victoria…

I hope this letter meets you in Cheshire. I recall a that you planned to travel there this Saturday, but we both know how often such plans are disrupted.

I have news.
Mr Frazer and I have finally set a date: 7 November (yes, this year) We have received the blessing of Reverend Horton at Mr Frazer's church, where we will hold the ceremony.

Reverend Horton and the church will be available on that date, most of our guests should be able to attend, and it gives us just enough time to prepare a modest celebration.

I told Mother about our date, and said it would give us sufficient time to have the Banns read both here and in Bridgwater. She smiled and said that Bridgwater was already taken care of. It's so annoying to have one's Mother know everything!

Mr Frazer was very understanding when I said that I wished to wait until after the Reading of my Paper. It does gall somewhat to have just begun to achieve recognition (or perhaps just notoriety) under my own name, then change my name a week later.

I wanted to tell you quickly, because you have been so much my confidante and advisor. I wish that you could stand beside me, as you have been so instrumental in promoting this marriage. Alas, Mr Frazer's church is rather traditional in these matters, and it would put you under an unpleasant scrutiny. I am asking my sister Mary to stand by me, as I did for her some years ago.

Mrs Cuthbert and Mr Cuthbert have once again shown great generosity and have volunteered to host the Wedding breakfast at #12.

The question of the Honeymoon is not resolved as yet. Mr Frazer will be speaking to his superiors regarding the additional time off. I have come to realize that Mr Frazer is a very diligent worker, and I take it as a very flattering sign of his regard for me that he would even consider taking so much time away from his duties as he has done of late.

I still have much to do. I had originally thought to wear one of the dresses already in my wardrobe, perhaps with new trimmings. I had not reckoned on the fine veil, which would make my other clothes so shabby and drab by comparison. I have decided to compromise, and have a new tea ensemble in a dove grey. I can then trim it with the lace that I bought in Metz. If I have the dressmaker cut it out now, I will have time to do much of the stitching myself, which makes it a little more affordable. After my "big day," I will be able to change the trimmings back to something more in keeping with my station.

I hope all is well with you, that you are keeping up with your riding and other exercise. I am happy to hear that your sister is well.

Your friend,
Ruth

Saturday, 1 October 1870
(Goxhill)

Last evening we all made our scheduled pilgrimage to Goxhill, this time accompanied by my Mother. She appeared to be impressed with Edward's French conversation–I forget how much better his grammar is in foreign languages, since I am so inured to his abominable English.

My Mother is evidently impressed with my new social set. We were taking a stroll in the gardens at Goxhill Manor when she said confidentially, "I understand now why you wouldn't hear of staying in Bridgwater last June. Even aside from your Mr Frazer, you have found your way into very good circles. This is quite a far cry from the Perlbridges or even the Mertons. Our good hosts here seems to like keeping all sorts of interesting people about. They seem to appreciate your...unusual qualities. And a lady could become accustomed to this style of living!"

Mother was predictably delighted with Miss Pinker–who delights everyone, I daresay.
I had neglected to warn Mother about the other Mr Graves, which resulted in some startlement on her part.

I helped Edward with some of his work in the Smithy this afternoon.

Wednesday, 5 October 1870
(London)

My morning's swimming session was mostly enjoyable, as I practised floating and holding my breath. The challenge came at the end of the session when I made my first trial at "falling in" with mostly full set of garments on-- I had known in theory how heavy and cumbersome wet clothes would be, but the reality was beyond my imagining. If I hadn't been able to stand on the bottom, I would certainly have been very frightened, even with the instructor nearby to help me.

After I returned to Charles Street and finished drying my hair, my Mother and I went to the dressmaker's. I brought in the length of the dove-grey woolen sateen I have selected for my dress. She will do the cutting out for me from one of the patterns she has already done, and baste it together and fit it next week

Then we met Mr Frazer and he introduced us to his landlady and her other lodgers. They seem to… lack refinement, but on the whole, he assures me, they are good, hardworking people.

The three of us attended the Wednesday evening Services at St John's. My Mother seemed alarmed at the quality of the neighbourhood at first (as I was myself at my first visit just last week), but it soon became clear to her that this congregation, though poor, is very Proud. The church buildings are very old, but the floors and pews are so lovingly polished, they look as beautiful as the best ballrooms in Mayfair.

This was my first appearance to this congregation. I was warmly greeted and clucked over by matrons, and I received thundercloud glowers from all the unmarried young ladies. I tried not to look smug, but I couldn't swear to my success.

When Mr Frazer and I were first discussing where to hold our Wedding, I admitted to him that I don't really care to attend services regularly if I have a choice. He was very understanding. Still, I feel I must put in an appearance with his chosen congregation, so they will all know that I am looking after him. Since I am usually at Goxhill on Sundays at present, I must attend here on Wednesdays. It could certainly be worse. Reverend Horton conducts a traditional and straight- forward Service. Mr Frazer sings so beautifully, I almost wish for more hymns.
Even after our marriage, I expect he may walk the three miles from Charles Street to attend here on Sundays.

We will be setting out shortly to attend a Soiree at #12, in celebration of Mr Cuthbert attaining his Knighthood–Sir Spencer, just imagine it. I suppose he's no more or less trouble than any of the other Gentlemen who share the honor. And I must admit that he has served our nation well. But then, so have I, and no one is giving me a title! I suppose that would be too conspicuous anyway.

I must remember to warn Mr Frazer not to accept any invitations from Sir Spencer– dining out at the Club or just stepping out for a pint can lead to such troubles for an unsuspecting and polite man in Sir Spencer's company. I should hate to have to beg Mr Caine to comb the alleys and back rooms of the Town to find my fiance and drag him home.

Thursday, 6 October, 1870
(London)

Today Edward showed me the designs for a side project he's just begun working on. It's quite a departure. It's a clockwork toy. It doesn't seem to explode or anything. I provided a little technical information on the shape of the ears, the relative length of the hind legs, and the fur colouration. It will be quite realistic in appearance, if he can build it as designed. I'm not quite sure what has sparked this sudden interest in rabbits, but I find it refreshing that he's inventing something charming rather than an implement of mayhem.

(Letter to Miss Velika Metzger)
7 October, 1870
London

Dear Miss Metzger...
I hope this letter finds you well...I hope it finds you at all! Mr Frazer has corrected my spelling of your town's name, and I hope that your postmaster will give it to you.

I have thought of you often since we parted in Berlin. I am writing today to invite you to join us in London to celebrate our wedding. We will hold our ceremony and a modest breakfast on 7 November. I know it would be an arduous journey for you, and I will not be offended if you are not able to attend, but I wanted to be sure you know that you are welcome, and we would all love to see you. If there is anything we can do to enable you to visit us, please let us know, and we will do it upon the instant.

Mr Frazer sends his kindest regards. Please write when you can and let us know how things are with you.
Your friend,

Miss Ruth Evelyn Sinclair

Monday, 10 October, 1870
(London)

I am evidently leaving my Mother too much on her own during her visit. She has conceived a project–she wants to "improve" Emily. I'm not sure what has set her on to this, I'm sure she means well. It's true that Emily's position in our household is ambiguous, and she could do her job better and be happier if she could be more comfortable in Society. But usually Mother is very particular about people not getting above themselves. Perhaps Sir Cosmo's egalitarian ideas are infecting her.

I have not had the heart to tell Mother that Miss Whitnell, Mrs Cuthbert, and I have all been labouring these many months to improve Emily's poise and manners, to no avail. Well, that isn't exactly true. I confess that I haven't told Mother about our ongoing efforts simply because I'm glad to have her scrutiny fall on someone other than me for a while.

Tuesday, 11 October, 1870
(London)

This afternoon's lessons with Edward went fairly well, though it was difficult to keep his attention. He was full of excitement about the progress of his diving suit project. I used this to some advantage by making him describe how he and Mr Reed have calculated how much weight the suits can lift in the water compared to out of the water.

I did have to chide Edward for doodling diagrams of the connexion points of the helmet to the body of the suit on the margins of his Arabic writing exercises this evening. He did better when we were practicing our spoken Arabic with Mr Frazer after dinner.

Wednesday, 11 October, 1870
(London)

My swimming lessons went well today. I was able to tread water without touching the bottom for 20 minutes, and I wasn't too tired. Of course, that was only me in my underthings, no skirts. Still, I am making progress.

Mother spotted me on the stairs on my way in, and asked me why I had gone out with a wet head in the cool morning, Don't I know I'll catch My Death, &c, &c. I evaded the question. She was uncharacteristically tenacious however, and all but accused me of some kind of indecent behaviour. I finally lost my temper and told her that I was taking swimming lessons at the School. She looked startled, then turned and walked off, muttering about climbing trees, swimming, fighting. She turned back and said "What on Earth are you doing all this for?"

I replied that I wanted to be prepared when Mr Frazer and I move to the wilderness of the Chukchi Steppes. She turned again, now muttering, "At least she's getting married. Chukchi, how far is that..."

When Mr Frazer came to escort us to evening services, I had mostly forgotten the discussion. Mother turned to Mr Frazer and asked him, "Exactly how far away is Chukchi?" Mr Frazer described the boundaries of the territory by latitude and longitude, and by how long traveling there from England takes, both in summer and in winter, as well as distance in miles as the crow flies.

Mother looked very apprehensive now. "And when are you planning to go back?"

Mr Frazer looked surprised and glanced at me. I winked, but he didn't know what to make of it. "As far as I know," he replied rather tentatively, "there are no definite plans." Mother looked very severely at me. Fortunately for me, the sermon this evening was all about forgiveness, and not about the evils of lying to one's Mother.

Thursday, 13 October, 1870

Today after our Engineering lesson, Edward and I went to the Reading Room at the Museum. We took Mother along. She was impressed with the quantity of books, though I not sure she appreciates their content. We settled her in a comfortable chair with a book of maps (she wanted to see where Chukchi was with her own eyes), with George to watch over her.

Edward and I then went in search of a few books. We wanted a few texts written in Arabic. He also wanted to show me a book with pictures from Hindu temple sculptures-- which were rather eye-opening, I must say. I maintained that even if his designs for Miss Chigwidgeon's diving suit are cultural and historic, they are still not in good taste.

Friday, 14 October, 1870
(Goxhill)

We arrived back in Goxhill late this afternoon, just in time for a party this evening. Mother was so excited to meet all the worthies of the neighbourhood

Saturday, 15 October, 1870
(Goxhill)

The Autumn Fair has been lauded as a great success. I'm so glad everyone had a good time. Personally, I would have preferred a quiet day off in a meadow somewhere. I thought I would be sick after watching Edward eat an entire pie...oh I can't even think about it.

The highlight of the day was the awarding of prizes. Sir Cosmo had been selected for this honorable duty, but he had unexpected and urgent business with his rail company and couldn't come with us this week (why didn't I think of something like that?). He conscripted Lt Wooster to give the awards. The Lt wore his dress uniform topped by the incredible hat he received when the Belgian Navy gave him an honorary Captaincy last week. He looked so pleased with himself, with those oh-so-Continental plumes waving about. I suppose Mr Caine must simply allow the Lt's natural exuberance (not to say "idiocy") have its way from time to time.

Wednesday, 19 October 1870
(London)

Mr Frazer has revealed his plans for our honeymoon…well, not in detail of course.
He has taken a cottage in Aberdeenshire for a fortnight.
He seemed surprised that it was so readily available, and said the estate agent told him there isn't much demand for cottages up there in the winter. I mentioned that not all of us English have been hardened against the chill by spending our youth in the steppes of Siberia.

He assures me that he has seen the cottage, and it is snug, nicely furnished, and well built, and plenty of coal will be available. Knowing my Intended's rustic tastes, I felt obliged to inquire what sort of cottage it is. I'm sure I'll enjoy myself, the countryside is said to be lovely, and I've never been to Scotland.

I'll just have to bring plenty of my warmest clothes. It will be a relief to be somewhere remote and away from the bustle of other people.

Thursday, 20 October, 1870

re: my entry on October 6: I was mistaken. Even amusing little rabbits are implements of mayhem in some hands.

Speaking of implements of mayhem, I went with Edward to the Shipyards to examine the progress on the diving suit project. I was very impressed. The outer plating is underway now. I volunteered to check the fit of the interior.

Mr Reed was trying not to look shocked when I emerged from a private corner of one of the workshops without my overskirt. I'm sure he didn't think I would be able to fit into the contraption with a crinoline on, but he was still surprised to be reminded that even women have legs attached to their feet. He glared at the handful of shipwrights who were nearby until they stopped staring and went back to their tasks.

I made a few little suggestions about the placements of some of the controls, but on the whole I found it to be elegantly designed.

Saturday, 22 October, 1870
(Goxhill)

Edward came in from the Smithy positively reeking of gunpowder. Since Dr Wilson is not about Goxhill at present, I knew he couldn't have been working under his supervision. I asked him what he had been doing, and he told me, in a conspiratorial whisper, that it was his Guy. It took me a few moments to realise that he was speaking of Guy Fawkes.

I asked if he had Sir Cosmo's and Lord Greyminster's permission to work with explosives on the Grounds. He replied that he had even been told where to acquire supplies by Lord Greyminster's own servants. I was well aware that this did not actually answer my question. I told him it would be poor thanks indeed for Goxhill's hospitality to burn down the Manor, and he must be very careful.

I then went to Sir Cosmo. He smiled and said, "Oh, yes. I know about that."

Sunday, October 23 1870
(Goxhill)

Once again, I am reminded that Edward is incurably wild. Last night I was sitting up proofreading my copies of the Moth paper when I heard some peculiar sounds from Edward's room. I went to investigate and discovered Edward returning from some late-night excursion. When challenged, he assured me that he had Sir Cosmo's permission, but he would not tell me where he had been.

Naturally I did not roust out Sir Cosmo at that very moment (though it was tempting), but this morning I asked him if he had specifically approved this late-night prowling. He had the grace to look abashed when he told me he had. He explained that he had also instructed Edward not to speak of his excursions to anyone. He is apparently authorised to visit a boy living in this neighbourhood who is a reclusive invalid, and whose condition is a secret matter.
I'm afraid I was somewhat acerbic when I said that of course Sir Cosmo should feel free to allow these excursions, but that if he had let me know something about it, it would have saved me some annoyance in the middle of the night.

Friday, 28 October, 1870
(Goxhill)

Edward has been uncharacteristically testy today. Perhaps I should say that Wilhelmina has been testy, as I was mostly speaking to her when we had a bit of a flare.

I have been trying to convince Wilhelmina to attend my reading, as Edward is not entirely welcome in the precincts of the Naturalists Society (Edward has not confided the reason for this expulsion, but I can imagine a few possibilities). I was trying to assure Wilhelmina that since most of the former Moriarty organisation is accounted for, she does not need to remain in hiding. Indeed, I told her that she should consider her future and that she could not keep this secret forever.

"These things have a way of coming to light," I said. "Believe me, I know." I don't know exactly what she took such exception to, but I saw the flash of anger in her eye, and she was gone. What are we to do with her?

Monday, 31 October, 1870
(London)

Mr Frazer gave me a ring this evening as we sat together in the parlour. It is quite a beautiful ring. It is worked in silver and gold, and has 4 varieties of garnet: Rhodolite, Uvarovite, Topazite, and Hessonite. The stones present a rather motley appearance, being a wine color, a scintillant green, a pale yellow, and a darker amber gold. The Uvarovite is perhaps the most interesting, and the story of Mr Frazer's grandparents acquiring the sample of uvarovite (from Count Uvarov himself) adds to its lustre. The ring is entirely unique and entirely the sort of thing that my dear Benton would invent for me.

(Later)
Now I am unable to sleep. Every time I try, I can only think about the fact that I have less than a week until I am a married woman. I know I want to marry Benton, but I still feel a shock to my bones every time I think of it. I trust Benton, yet I fear putting myself so wholly under anyone's power. Everyone knows that it is natural for a woman to be nervous before her wedding, and I have soothed young women in my charge on just these sorts of anxieties. But it is much more frightening than I ever imagined.

There is nothing for it, I think I'll sit up and work on the embroidery on the gloves I am going to give to Mary.

Wednesday, 2 November, 1870
(London)

Well, I think my reading went well. Mr Scuddamore read very clearly, and I think the audience's response was satisfactory.

I received many congratulations at the Reception.
The surprising exception was the co-sponsor of the paper, Mr Wroth. He seemed almost disdainful of me, and did not fulfill the usual duties of performing introductions with any grace at all. In fact, he left my side almost immediately and went over to converse with a group of other gentlemen.

If he wasn't interested in my work, why did he ask to co-sponsor my paper? I had hoped for an opportunity to converse with him before the reading, to learn about his interest and his grasp of the subject, but with all my traveling about, I was not able to meet with him.

Sir Cosmo provided some clue to this mystery, as he stepped in beside me to continue the introductions in Mr Wroth's stead. He tells me that Mr Wroth has a particular dislike for him. Mr Wroth had not been aware that Sir Cosmo is a friend to me, and had the ill grace to give me this cut in front of the whole Naturalists Society to show his disapproval. Really, what a baboon.

I suppose that this is one disadvantage to not being admitted to the Club…I would probably have known all about this and I could have prevented an unpleasantness by declining Mr Wroth's sponsorship. I would prefer to have the interest of my Naturalist colleagues focused on the content of my paper, rather than some infamous incident or scandal.

Friday, 4 November, 1870
(London)

To do: Home
check skirt hem length
stitch trim at hem
add trim to gloves
confirm Breakfast menu w/Mrs C
pack warm clothes for trip
ask Miss W if she has extra flannel petticoats to loan
repack books for move to #12

To do: Out
new corset lacings
get new packet of watercolour paper
visit engravers to inspect spyglass & arrange delivery for Monday

(Later)
Thank goodness. Most of the household has gone now to take the evening train to Goxhill.
I am left to complete my preparations in relative peace, except that Mother is here. She is in such a dither about...Well I'm not entirely sure. Really almost everything is ready. My dress is finished. My going-away hat has only two flowers left to stitch on.

Miss Whitnell has loaned me two of her flannel petticoats for me to use on my trip into the North. She commented that it was lucky that we haven't had any particular League business yet this winter, so all her flannel petticoats are still intact–no tears, soot, slashes, or bloodstains.

My only regret is that I will miss seeing Miss Wilhelmina in her new dress. She promised to attend the Sigglesthorne Autumn Fair. I invited her to the wedding, but I expect that Edward will attend instead.

Sunday, 6 November, 1870
(London)

My family has arrived for the Wedding. I can't believe it. Tomorrow!
My parents, my sisters, all three nieces, and my brother-in-law Edward have all come. Mr Davies had to stay in Bridgwater, as his Inn and Stables cannot simply be closed up for the day like the Sinclair and Morris offices can. I'm so delighted to have everyone here.
I'm also glad that we aren't getting married in Bridgwater. If we did that, We would have to invite all those other relatives, and even that annoying Mrs Berringer. This is much more to my liking.

All my clothes are laid out for tomorrow. Mrs Cuthbert tells me that everything is ready for the Breakfast. I even went to services with Mr Frazer this morning, and Reverend Horton and the ladies of the congregation complimented me on how calm I am. I'm not, of course, but it's nice to know that I look calm.

This is my last night here at #18, since when I return from the wedding trip, Mr Frazer and I will be taking up our new residence at #12. I will miss Graves and the staff here. I'll be right next door, and I'll see them all nearly every day, but I will have to get used to all Mrs Cuthbert's staff now. I'll have to work out accommodations with yet another cook.

Monday, 7 November 1870
(Carlisle, Cumbria)

Well, now I am a married woman.

It is very strange to be able to sit alone with Mr Frazer, to walk with him anywhere, to have no need of a female companion. The sensation of freedom is entirely unexpected!

I can hardly believe my good fortune. I now have an irrevocable tie to the most perfect man I can imagine. As if just looking at him and hearing his voice were not enough, I continue to be amazed at his thoughtfulness.

Before our ceremony this morning, we met for the last time as a betrothed pair. I gave him the spyglass, and he seemed very pleased as he read our engraved initials and the date. But when he gave me his gift to me, I nearly fainted. He gave me his Grandmother's field kit! It is the most wonderful thing I have ever seen. It is beautifully polished leather with brass fittings (he said he had had them replaced). It is full of perfectly fitted compartments with sample jars. It has compartments for papers, small clippers...everything I could want to carry. And it was made to the specifications of the renowned Mrs Walgrove!

Benton assured me that it would withstand the rigours of the field, and showed me how it had been specially reinforced. This had been done after a previous field kit had been used as a defensive weapon and most of the samples inside had been destroyed. I wish I could have met Mrs Walgrove. Can I truly be worthy of such a gift? I can but try.

As if that gift weren't enough, he also showed me the sketches of a suite of furniture he had ordered for me–a desk, a chair, and small wardrobe. They are made to match my linen chest. I could hardly believe it! I am somewhat concerned at the extravagance–the new ring, the furniture, the honeymoon cottage...I should hate to bring my tidy and thrifty husband to ruin through his generous impulses.

I hear Benton returning from his discussion with the hotel manager. I can scarcely believe that they wanted us to leave Turgenov in the stables. But I hear Turgenov's footfalls beside Benton's, so they must have prevailed.

I must put aside my writing...mostly because my hand is now shaking, and I suddenly can't see very clearly.

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