A bit unpredictable

From the correspondence of The Lord Henry Bickersteth, Colonial Treasurer, Postmaster General, Telegraph Commissioner Labuan Colony

The Right Honble. The Viscount Yaxley
Towcester Hall
Towcester, Northhamptonshire
England

My dear Claude:

How have you been? Keeping the old sticks in the House of Lords honest are you? Or at least jostling their elbows from time to time to keep them from snoring?

All is well here. Weather was a bit beastly last week, but the end of the monsoon season is always a bit unpredictable.

Your boy, Henry, and his lovely bride have been out to visit. He's doing some spot of dispatch work for the Admiralty. Not sure how he convinced her to come along, but I must say I'm awfully glad he did. A smashing gell all around, I must say!

Had a bit of a bonker with dinner plans. The Dapplegroves were supposed to be here so there would be someone for Mrs Lt Wooster to talk to, but there was some problem and they had to cancel. So I attempted to be entertaining with my Veranda Croquet. Henry managed to knock a ball into the marsh, despite the sideboard I had installed to prevent just such a development. It all worked out in the end, as I learned the that talented Emily was quite the dab hand at throwing things, and much more happy to be playing darts than smacking wooden spheres with mallets.

Before the Admiral sent Henry off on the next mission, I had the honour to provide my goddaughter-in-law and one of her friends with transport to the local market, and then to escort them while they shopped. Port Victoria's marketplace is fast catching up to Singapore, though we still have a decided lack of haberdashers.

I noticed Our Dear Emily examining a few items longingly. Your Henry had mentioned that she is quite strict with herself about spending money. An admirable trait I'm sure my Mother wished I had learned. Of course, perhaps my extravagent ways are the reason I have remained a lonely old bachelor all these years.

I noticed her showing a particular longing for a certain cup and statuette set (the Chinese make some of the most astonishingly pretty curios, you know). I wish I could have been there to see her open the package! But they were preparing to disembark by the time my few paltry little purchases caught up with them.

Still, I was there to see them off as they pulled out. I am so sad to see them go. I hardly had the chance to get to know her!

I have an important project to attend to, now. Your Henry taught me this smashingly good song, "A Splendid Hat!" and told me what a rollicking good time he had at the show where he heard it. Seems he's acquainted with the playwright, and he was kind enough to give me the address. I have said many times that what these colonials need is more exposure to the finer things of European Culture, and this opera, "A Royal Engagment, or a Princess goes to Sea," sounds like just the thing to elevate the arts around here.

The next letter I write shall be to this Mr Graham to obtain permission to arrange a performance of the Port Victoria Amateur Theatre Society. It is just the thing we've been looking for!

I remain faithfully yours,

Henry Bickersteth
From the diary of Lobsang Lu, servant in the household of Admiral The Honble. Sir Miles Naismith

Tuesday, 20 April 2007

I was sent to escort the visiting ladies around the marketplace. Miss Wilahelmina joined us, except she was trying to disguise herself as a Chinese servant. Lady Cowperthwaite was a bit silly when we reached Kwan Chow's tea shop. Mr O'Flaherty was there, having discovered Mr Kwan's library of newspapers. The other ladies joined us with the children.

We returned to the Governor's house. Purchases had to be put away and other chores dealt with. Miss Wilhelmina worked on one of her projects in her room until dinner. After dinner she returned to the room. She was kind enough to explain to me the project. She is terribly smart, so I must assume she knows what she's doing, but I don't really understand how a candy gun could be more useful in battle than an ordinary gun.

The Admiral was busy most of the evening meeting with lots of different people in his office. Lt Rigby busy writing documents in the outer office. Post-captain Pyne did not look at all happy when he left.

Some of the ladies went out for a stroll, and they came back with an injured man. It's the American newspaper writer, Mr Spilett. Apparently the ladies were trying to locate Mr O'Flaherty, and Mr Spilett said he could take them to him, and there was some disorderly conduct happening where Mr O'Flaherty was. Mr Spilett got hurt somehow.

Mr O'Flaherty seemed to be in better mood than usual.

I learned that Miss Wilhelmina and her friends are preparing to leave Port Victoria to search for Lt Pellew and his crew. I think it is going to be very dangerous where they are going. I don't think Miss Wilhelmina should go alone.


Wednesday, 21 April

I learned today that Turgenov understands Dutch and Chinese. Owen doesn't like it when I read aloud in those languages, as he doesn't.

Lord Beckett arrived at the house very early in the morning, before most of the guests were awake. The Admiral was leaving. I had just handed the document cases to the driver when Lord Beckett's carriage came into the drive. The Baron hardly waited for his driver to stop before he leapt from the carriage and started yelling at the Admiral, "How dare you take my ship!"

The Admiral never raised his voice back. He once told me that if you have to raise your voice, you've already lost. He calmly explained that Foremost was Her Majesty's Ship and was needed for a vital mission.

Lord Beckett looked very angry when he left.

I tried to give notice this morning. I told the Admiral it was for personal reasons. He said he was very sad that I was going to do that, because he really needed me to go on a special mission for him and he didn't know who else he could turn to.

Me? Go on a mission? I'm just a servant, a page boy, not even a footman!

He said that he was sending Lt Turner with Sir Cosmo and the others, to assist in the search for Lt Pellew, and that Lt Turner needed a batman, because he doesn't have one, and the Admiral needed to send someone he could trust, because whoever went along would also be expected to help look after the ladies and such.

I told him that I would do it.

At least this way I don't have to stowaway!

Lady Cowperthwaite has some very odd ideas. She believes she's my half-sister. She says my mother is still alive and prays for me every day. She says that this puts some kind of protection around me, and that dangerous people are looking for me. I'm not sure what to think, but she says that once they find Pellew, she is going to try to find my mother, and that I can come along.

I wonder if this is what Lt Cunningham meant when he said that reading "those kind of stores" does funny things to the brain?


Thursday, 22 April

I've never been on a ship that moved so fast! Miss Wilhelmina says that the Griffin is faster, but I'm not sure that's possible.

Lt Turner doesn't have a lot of things to organize. But there are plenty of chores to help everyone else with.


Friday, 23 April

Miss Wilhelmina explained how the steam engine works. She says it's the same kind as in the Griffin, which is a later design than the engine of the Paladin.


Saturday, 24 April

Storm today. Wasn't much of a storm, but we couldn't do much of anything on deck.


Sunday, 25 April

I like the way the air smells after a storm. The light off the water seems to have more colours, too.


Monday, 26 April

While Miss Wilhelmina was doing her Maths lesson with Sir Cosmo, Mrs Frazer insisted I help her with some sums. Miss Wilhelmina says Mrs Frazer isn't happy unless she has someone to give homework to.


Tuesday, 27 April

We fought pirates today!

Well, the ships did. I didn't really have much to do with it, other then running more ammunition to people. Three pirate ships: two big three masters, and a smaller junk, had captured an American freighter.

We shot cannons, and rockets, and rifles, and the strange humming gun Sir Cosmo built on the prow. Miss Wilhelmina's candy gun seemed to work really well. The pirates it got were like bugs trapped in tree sap. Except that it's hot tree sap that burns.

Mr Salmalin can jump a long way!

Mr O'Flaherty is just as daring in person as he is in the stories! Except if this were a story, he would have hurled the rope from Foxglove to the pirate ship with a "mighty heave of superhuman strength." What he actually did is fired a rocket that dragged the rope and a grapple over, then he swung along the rope. A bunch of the pirates came the other direction on the rope, but he punched them good, knocking them out of the way. He and the marines eventually got aboard that ship and took out the rest of the pirates.

The junk was destroyed with a couple of salvos from all the cannon on Foxglove. Rifle fire (and the other guns) from both ships took out a lot of the pirates on the other two. And Mr Salmalin started a fire that spread to the magazine of the one. That made quite an explosion.

The captain of the junk was Jai Yu! Doctor Inescapable Fate, as they say in the paper. He used one of his rocket kites to flee his burning ship and landed on the third pirate ship, but he was shot, and they said he was one of the dead bodies they gathered later.

Mr Salmalin escaped the exploding ship with another of the rocket kites. And the brought along with him a prisoner he had freed from the pirates. He keeps insisting that he's Mr John Smith of Portsmouth, but no one believes him. They think he's Captain Will Sparrow. I thought Will Sparrow was more graceful and could escape from anything. How could he have been held prisoner by these guys for months? And his landing was one of the clumsiest things I've ever seen.

Still, I've been warned to be careful around him. It's clear he's some kind of pirate, so of course I will be!
From the diary of Post-captain the Hon. Ivan Pyne, Royal Navy:

Tuesday, 20 April

Some day I'll find a way to get even. I don't know how or when, but Miles will pay for this.

It was bad enough to make me a Captain! I never wanted to be a Captain. Oh, yes, we all dream of being an Admiral some day, chest covered in medals, a knighthood or maybe a small peerage, but that's back when we were green midshipman. Once you figure out how much headache comes with command, even a temporary one, you start understanding the value of a nice Lieutenantcy...

And Flag Captaincy isn't quite like being a real Captain. I mean, your ship is the Admiral's ship. You're always sailing under his direction. It's like being a First Lieutenant with extra braid, is all.

But Commodore! He's gone and made me a Commodore! And saddled me with that sanctimonious pratt, Beckett! Oh, not technically, no. Captain Clarke and HMS Foremost are reporting to me. It just happens to be Beckett's bloody ship! So Beckett will come along, I'm sure, and will try to wheedle his way into running things. He'll be undermining me at every turn, because he's High Commissioner and I'm just the blasted Admiral's cousin who has been promoted to Commodore for no good reason.

That's what he's thinking, I know it.

Miles is transferring his flag to Griffin, and they are making best speed to Ceylon. I'm to go to Singapore, delivering messages from Miles in his new capacity as Commissioner General for Military Affairs. I'm to take command of any warships in Singapore, and they are to accompany me to other ports along the Malay (where I'm to take more ships under my command!) until we reach Burma, where I'm supposed to secure the Bay of Bengal.

How do I secure a body of water a thousand miles wide?

I asked him that, and his answer was he was still thinking about it, but he hoped to have several suggestions for me before I leave. Which is Wednesday night or Thursday morning.


Wednesday, 21 April

He's mad. Bloody brilliant, but also totally mad.

Miles thinks all the rebellions are connected through their arms supplier. That supplier is probably Wu Chang (and his many allied pirates), though it could also be the Dragon Lady or just someone who hopes to replace Wu Chang.

So we're hunting pirates and smugglers. Which is what we've been doing for as long as I've been out here, and Miles is right, I have a knack for it. More importantly, my old 'friend' Buck Blaze is imprisoned in Rangoon. I'm to offer him a deal: help me find the smugglers, and he won't hang.

This is going to be interesting...

Proceed to Strangely talkative

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