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Lt. Bartholomew Phipps
HMS Bedford
Greenwich
Lt. Hon. David Fotheringay, C.B.
HMS Nereus
Portsmouth
My Dear Spongy,
I hope this finds you well. I received another of those confusing letters from your Father which always leave my head swimming. Since I couldn't make head nor tail of what he was asking, I thought I'd send a quick note to you to see if you might shed some light on the subject.
Perhaps I should look into getting a clever batman, such as the marvellous Mr Caine who looks after Wooster. Speaking of Wit, who do you think popped over for a visit today? I think this Commander business has gone to his head. I don't know if you have heard, but dear old Captain Symington died a week or so ago, and the Admiralty has left Wooster in command of Rhinocerus. Even transferred Symington's grandson to the Rhinocerus for the trip out for the burial at sea. They've returned and Rhinocerus is anchored on the bank across the Thames from us.
Wit and some of his lads came across the river in a steam launch to pay compliments to my commander, Captain Fryer. While he was onboard we had an opportunity to talk for a while and we were having a jolly good time. He was quite interested in one of the ships docked nearby. It's not one of our ships, it's Prussian, I think. Or one of Prussia's allies. I can never keep them straight. Captain Fryer said it's more of a yacht than a man o'war, and that the Admiral is some German nobleman.
During the course of our conversation the German nobleman returned to his ship, and there was a lady with him. Wit was quite certain he knew the lady, and said it would be rude not to go pay his compliments to this Admiral chappie, since he obviously was an old family friend of the lady.
He and Caine were off like that. Captain Fryer made some joke about Wooster being a bother elsewhere. I know it was quite funny because all the men laughed, but I don't quite remember it now. We saw them go aboard and apparently they were welcomed, because they went into the cabin for at least a bell. When they came out, they went right to the steam launch with hardly a wave or a salute to us, then headed back over to Rhinocerus.
I was the duty officer for first dog watch, and took the opportunity when I had the con to see what Wooster was getting up to over on Rhinocerus. Except as far as I chould tell, peering through the spyglass, he wasn't there. Young Symington was supervising the crew. I expect Wooster had gone into the City for dinner at the Bombards. I wish I had been able to dine at the Bombards tonight. They usually have chicken, ham, and veal pie on Wednesdays.
While I was observing, one of the crewmen came running to me excited about something. He thought one of the nearby ships was sinking. He was pointing at the yacht, the very one Wooster had visited earlier, and talking about the water gurgling up around the hull. I couldn't see anything amiss, but just to be safe, I sent a couple of the boys over to offer assistance. They came back and said the the German sailors assured them that everything was shipshape, they'd just been testing their bilge pumps.
That explained everything.
One of the boys said it was odd, how the yacht was riding in the water, but he couldn't explain it very well, and as she was tied up to the dock, I didn't think it could be very important.
All in all quite an exciting day, I should say. Other than this letter from you father that I can't understand. Why would he be asking my intentions? Intentions for what? I don't know how I can answer him plainly if I don't understand the question. And why should it matter that I tell him before I say anything to your sister? What does she have to do with his incomprehensible questions?
If you can be any help at all in shedding some light, I'd greatly appreciate it. Until then I remain your obedient servant,
Phipps
Proceed to It were a bit queer
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