Excerpts from the diary of Mrs Emily Wooster (Emily Bertilde that was)


April 5

After the excitement at the McGreggor's we had an uneventful trip to Towster to visit with Henry's parents.  It has been a much quieter 2 weeks than I would have thought.  I have discovered that children are a marvelous mother-in-law distraction.  Although, Lady Yaxly seems to think it a little odd that I spend as much time as I do with them.  She has detailed one of her girls to help Janet (my nursemaid) with the twins so I don't have to do as much.  Now, I have to feed them, and then I can just sleep.  I've even been able to start working through my sword dances again (although not at dawn anymore and no where near my regular strength and speed). 

Something odd happened today.  It was another beautiful, quiet day, so I went out to the pond to do some needlework.  I dozed off at some point and was awakened by a little old lady saying she was lost and looking for the Towster hall servants quarters.  When I asked if she had an appointment with the housekeeper, she mentioned that she was selling corset ties.  I told her I wasn't interested because I usually make my own.  At which point she started asking what my favorite methods were.  I realized that this was her only income and they were a very reasonable price, so I bought a few sets. Then I asked if she still needed directions to the servants quarters.  Lady Yaxly suddenly said, “of course I know where the servants quarters are.  Is everything ok?” 

When I looked up, Lady Yaxly was coming toward me and the little old lady was gone.  But the corset strings were still there.  Lady Yaxly seemed concerned that I maybe had been in the sun too long.  She helped me gather up my things (I tucked the corset strings into one of my silk handkerchieves) and move over to the gazebo.  She even sent one of her servants off for lemon squash.  So kind!  Once she had moved off again, I tied the handkerchief up and set it aside until Victoria (or one of our other magic users could look at it.  Maybe I should start making sure I only wear my silk gowns now.  Although it would be very expensive if I ruined them...

I was worried that the silk handkerchief wasn't going to be enough, so I asked Wooster what else he would do to safeguard a magic thing.  I was thinking of adding salt to silk.  He mentioned my silver sword.  I liked the idea of wrapping them around silver, but not my sword (since it might cut the laces!).  I asked Henry for his silver flask.  If it can contain spirits, maybe it would work on possibly bad magical laces.  Only the flask Henry handed me was George's flask.  It seems like His business trip wasn't so businessy after all.  And there was apparently a stolen police helmet.  Sigh.  At least he did bring me home a lovely letter opener knife that it is, perhaps, sharper than it strictly needs to be for opening letters.  I took his real flask and proceeded to wrap the corset laces around the flask and tied the whole thing back up in the handkerchief.


April 6

My corset lace snapped this morning.  I sent Meg to check my stash.  She came out with an odd look on her face and the silk handkerchief bundle.  It seems my bundle had somehow moved from my trunk to the drawer where my laces normally are.  And my regular laces are gone.  Bother and double bother.  I had Meg knot my existing laces back together.  I'll need to head into town to buy more laces.  And a casket and some salt (and a priest to bless it if I can manage it) to bury the laces bundle into.

Later.

Well, the laces are buried in salt.  It was the oddest thing, though.  Everyone in town seemed to have just sold their last corset lace.  I finally stopped at the rag pickers and found a couple extras. 

Later.

Hmpf.  I'm having difficulties.  My corset lace popped again just as I was dressing for dinner.  Meg helped me get the repair done quickly and I went to dinner.  After dinner, however, it popped again.  I pleaded fatigue and went up to my room to get out of my corset.  I tried to think if there was any way I could find someone local who might be able to see if my laces were a problem.  Short of going out and asking random people if there was wisewoman around town.

Part of me wants to telegraph Victoria and tell her my woes, but I can't stand the thought of talking about unmentionables over the telegraph.  I'm wishing I'd payed more attention to the whole code thing.  I'm sure Mr. Cain would know it.  He'd probably even be willing to write such a message for me, but it would be beyond embarrassing.

Bother.  I'll spend my evening making a new lace.  I don't know what I'll do if this one pops.

I wish I had never talked to that old woman.

I think I figured out a way to send a not so embarrassing telegram.  I sent one of the boys off to town to do so.

…......

As we were winding down for the evening, we heard a scream from the Nursrey.  Henry and I ran up.  The room was EMPTY!  No Claude, no Eustace, and no Janet!  The window was open and the curtains flapping on the breeze.  We went to the window and saw something light color lying on the lawn outside.  We both went down.  It was Claude's blanket!  A little farther along was another light thing so we ran toward it.  It was Eustace's blankie.  Then Janet's shoe.  I was trying to decide if I should go back and enlist Cain's aid, but when I looked back, there was no house to be seen through the fog.  Henry started babbling about taking 90 degree steps across dimensions.  I have my note, but there's probably no British consulate here.  And my babies!  WAAHHHHH!

I found another shoe.  I was pretty oblivious to anything outside by this point.  I kept running until I got came to a river.  There was a log across the river and a giant with a quarterstaff on the other side.  I hit him with my slingshot.  He must have gotten really mad by being hit because he suddenly got really big.  At this point, I realized that the monster was the most frightening thing I had ever seen.  But, the river wasn't nearly as frightening.  I was about to jump in the river when Mrs. Frazier grabbed me and managed to hold me in place.  There was a bunch of talk, during which we found that my babies and Janet had gone this way.  Henry tried to shoot the monster, but his gun didn't work.  Mrs. Frazier let go to try firing the etheric pulse gun.  I heard Janet scream off in the distance, so I jumped into the river.  I was fine until about half way across when I suddenly lost my footing and started going down stream.

A little farther down, I saw Janet floundering.  I aimed for her and managed not to drown when she grabbed for me.  She was able to gasp out that the babies went down stream.  I wanted to just let her go and follow them, but I couldn't let her drown.  I tried to angle toward the shore to get her to a place she should touch before going on.  Never have I been so happy for those blasted swimming lessons Otto made me take.  Just as we got to where we could touch, I saw a monster at the bottom of the river.  Holding my baby.  I made sure Janet was steady, took a deep breath, and went under.

I got down and saw a green lady holding Claude.  I grabbed Claude and started poking the weedy lady.  I lost my sword, but managed to get him.  I pushed up and hit ice that had appeared out of no where.  Mrs. Frazer helped me create a whole in the ice and took Claude when I held him up.  When I got out, she pointed to the far side of the river and said Eustace went that way in the arms of another monster.  I dumped the over skirt (grabbing any of the stars/pointy bits that were still there first) and headed that way. 

I went over a small hill and found a scene a carnage.  Dead monster, bandaged Sir Cosmo, Wilamina and Salmaline and a bunch of the other members of the party, the weedy lady, and Eustace.  Everyone seemed to converge on the lady and Wilamina ended up with Eustace.  I ran up and grabbed my baby.  The ground started shaking.  I was torn for just a moment about whether to stay and help with the fact that ground was now shaking or heading back to get Claude.  Claude won.  I told Wilamina thank you and headed back to where I had left Claude with Mrs. Frazer. 


Proceed to Thunder under the ground

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