Excerpts from the diary of Mrs Emily Wooster (Emily Bertilde that was)

Dec 20th
Lady C had her baby!  Wow but Newborns are Ugly!  Will  mine look like that?  Will they be half as ugly because there are 2 of them?  Or will they be uglier because they are squished more?  Or is it because we did all that time jumping around?  I knew it would affect the babies!  They are all little old men and I just knew everything would be horribly wrong!  Wahhh!

Only maybe not since Lady C isn't fretting.  And has done this before. 

Fret, fret, fret.  Fret some more.  I know.  I'll get out the crochet again.  That last blanket isn't quite done yet.  And then I'll practice some dart and knife throwing.  That was so good of Henry to get someone in to remodel that wall to not be damaged by throwing or shooting things at it.  I've even practiced some blindfolded archery, although I think blindfolded knife throwing is easier right now (I don't have to stand to do it...)


Dec 23rd
Helen had her baby today.  It was a little girl and Simon seems so proud!


Dec 25th
Christmas was quiet this year.  Mrs. Frazer was going to go to London with Wilamina, but didn't want to leave Helen alone with her new baby.  Mrs. Cake went with Wilamina instead.  It was the oddest thing having Mrs. Cake show up un-announced at Edenfield.  With luggage.  I felt guilty about not going, but have finally admitted defeat and do not want to move ever again.  Or at least not until They are born.  They are very active and I am very tired.  It feels like they have invited friends and are having a party.  I wonder how they make it feel like there are more than 4 arms and 4 legs in there.   (I hope it's not another sign of something gone wrong.  Like maybe they are horrible monsters and will have to be put down.  That would be horrible!  I mean I would have wasted so much time and expense for nothing!  But Mrs. Cuthbert doesn't seem worried, so I shall attempt to be patient and not fret.  More anyway. 

Anyway, Lady C was ever so kind and gave me a maternity leave of absence. 

Willamina also gave me a very kind and unexpected gift.  She gave me several dress lengths of fabric in wonderfully sensible colors.  Some of the patterns are kind of odd, but I think I can work with them.  I'm going to wait until After They are born, though.  No sense in making something until I know what sizes and shapes to make them.  I hope all this extra goes away quickly.  I shall have to be up and getting back into a reasonable shape sooner than later.  But not yet.  On account of my never wanting to move again.  But I think I shall maybe start sketching patterns of what I want to make with them.


Dec 31st
Mrs. Samalin's son (Theodore) was christened today.  Part of me wanted to go see what a christening ceremony was like, but more of me wanted to not move.  The not moving part won. 


Jan 1
We have started another year and I have celebrated another birthday.  Since none of us have any idea of when I was actually born, Otto told me I had to pick a day to put on paper work.  I picked the day she plucked me off the streets, the first of the year.  I don't think I could ever forget that day.  I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  Well, except for having to be held under water while being scrubbed.  That part wasn't so much fun.  But I was warm for the first time in forever and the chicken soup Otto fed me was warm, and filling, and even had Real Meat in it.  It was wonderful!  Well, maybe other than being afraid of why they were pulling me off the streets and how long the wonderful would last.  But that was before I knew Otto and her wonderful school.

In any case, because of my condition, this year's birthday celebration was fairly quiet.  Meg (my maid in case I haven't mentioned it before) brought in some more of the wonderful hot chocolate to start my day, and cook Jane made a delightful chicken and dumpling soup for dinner.  I always have some kind of chicken soup on my birthday, partly to remember that first meal of my new life. 

Bah.  Being with child has made me all mushy and sentimental.  Next thing you know, I'll be pardoning all the chickens and letting Wilamina do whatever she likes.  Oh I hope not.  That would be Awful!

There were also some gifts!  Wilamina brought back some of Wonka's wonderful delights from London and gave me a few.  I savored them!  I really liked the vanilla Dewdrops, but the Cherries Jubily was thoroughly delightful!  Warm jam AND cold ice cream!  Henry gave me the fanciest tea kettle I've ever seen.  All kinds of  silver inlay and curlycues and what not.  And then told me it would be useful for boiling water on the Big Day.  Sigh...  Luckly, there was also a new set of hair stick knives.  Lovely and balanced and razor sharp.  I'm thinking that Cain may have had part in that. 


Jan 7
Henry received new orders today.  He was orderd to report to Liverpool o be a Flag Leutenant (I didn't know flags needed leutenants of their own) on the HMS Sorceress.  Luckily, Liverpool is close enough to Edenfield that he can come often to visit.


Jan 11
Longest Day Ever.  We had to chase Henry out f the house because he kept getting under foot and bringing up hot water he had boiled in the new kettle.  I'll be surprised if it survives today.  Mrs. Cuthbert finally had Meg set up a bathtub.  Every time Henry brought up another kettle full, she poured it in the bathtub and sent Him away again.  It would have been funny if I hadn't hurt so much.  Finally, after the tub was full, Mrs. Cuthbert sent Him out to chop wood to re-heat the water in the tub that had gotten cold. 

That kept him busy most of the rest of the time.

But, after what seemed like forever, Claude and Eustace were Finally Born.  I have officially done my duty and produced heirs.   I hope I don't have to do this again!

I feel oddly protective of them.  I've never liked babies before, but this is different.  Good thing, because were they Ugly.  All squished faced little old men.  But Mrs. Cuthbert assured me that all babies look like that and it wasn't because of the jumping around through time and being locked up in time and all the crazyness that happened in Carpania.  I was secretly relieved that they weren't little monsters in there.  But now they are here.  They have perfect little fingers and toes (and the right numbers.  I checked).  And right now, they are finally sleeping.  I think I shall do the same.


Jan 12
Dear, sweet mother of sanity!  When am I supposed to sleep?  And how does anyone ever do this without a maid and a nanny?  I'm giving both of them hazard pay after this!  It seems like it's always time to be feeding, burping, changing, or putting one or the other back to bed.  Henry has already managed to drop both of them (although at different times), and get both their ribbons mixed up.  I hope Claude is really Claude and Eustace is really Eustace!  And there goes another wail.  Time for another round!  At least I don't have time to fret that I'm doing it wrong somehow...


Jan 13
Otto and Vicky came for a visit today.  They somehow managed to find a time when both of the little monsters were asleep so that we could visit for a bit.  And when the Boys did wake up, they weren't frightened off.  Both jumped right in and helped.  They said that they would continue to to call in and see if I needed anything.  It was a lovely visit!


Jan 14
Aieee!  Lady Nitterdale sent a note today that Vicountess Yacksly (Henry's mother) happens to be visiting and would love to come over at any point pay a visit, and, oh by the way, meet the children.  Luckily, Otto stopped by today right after the note arrived, and I asked if she had any idea of what to expect from this visit and how I should respond.  I am reminded how much I love Otto and her calm manner and ready knowledge.  I only hope someday to be as good as Otto! Meg has been informed of the decision and will suggest a good time for a visit.  I also know that if Mother In Law hovers too much and I feel too hemmed in, that I can plead tiredness without offense and get some space back.  I hope that works!


Jan 15th
The Vicountess visited today.  It was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  She was very excited about the children and spent all her time hovering over them and not me.  Since they need lots of attention, I actually didn't mind.  I think I shall arrange to be available more often if she wants to come play with the Boys.

Barmy's wife also sent a letter today congratulating us on the new babies and offering assistance.  I may take her up on that


Jan 18th
Wooster came home rather late tonight.  He was at a celebratory dinner at the Liverpool Bombards club (hosted by the Commodore of His new ship and everythig!) and was a bit smashed.  But at least He did think of me.  His coat was all odd shaped when he came in.  He proceeded to start pulling out various chocolates and cheeses, and even a cheese board.  To his credit, they were very good chocolates and cheeses.  He said that the bombards were all ‚Äúdashedly dissapointed‚Äù that I wasn' able to make the part, what with me being a member and all, and that goodies were for me to not feel so left out.  They are sweet, in their own way.  I still think I shall make Him return the cheese board in the morning...


Jan 28th
Nanny Chigwidgeon arrived today.  I still don't know what to think about her.  But I'm glad she's here.


Jan 29th
Lady C's new son (Rupert) was Christened today.  I was still too tired to attend.


Feb 4th
Helen's baby (Madeleine) was christened today.  I heard that they had to rush the ceremony because Mrs. Frazer started to go into labor.  Poor woman.  I would be Most Embarrassed.


Feb 5th
Mrs. Frazer's twins were born early this morning.  Meg told me that everyone seems to be doing well.  I still don't know how she can deal with not one set of twins, but two!


Feb 11th
I cannot believe that the Boys are all of 1 month old.  What a topsy-turvey month it has been!

We are still not getting much sleep, but we have sort of settled into a routine.  And with the routine, I have started doing some basic exercises to try and get back in shape.  I am sooo out of practice and fighting trim.  My aim is still reasonable with my throwing knives and darts, but I did spend a bunch of time practicing there at the end.  But I have no stamina and feel all week and flabby when I try to do my morning exercises.  And I haven't even tried the sword work yet...  I will be so far behind when I have to try and keep up with Wilamina again!


Feb 12th
Claude and Eustace were christened today.  We asked the Copperthwaites, the Frazers, the Salmalines, Dahlia (Henry's sister), and Atlas to be godparents.  I was going to suggest more, but Mrs. Samaline said we probably had enough.  We had to do it at the Edenfield chapel since Mr. Samaline isn't a baptized member, but I especially wanted him because I look up to him very much and well, I mighe be silly, but we get in a lot of danger and I can't think of anyone I trust more than me.  I know that Lady C is his first charge, and that he has much more attachment to Victoria and their children, but well.  I decided that I should probably be there as well, even though I don't know if I was baptized and I don't usually go to church much.

I'm actually kind of regretting that I went.  The things they make the godparents say!  Why didn't Mrs. Cuthbert tell me there was something wrong with the babies!  Here' I've been relaxing my guard and not worrying about them being monsters.  Why are they now casting Satan out!?!?! Wahhhhhh!

Oh.  Ok.  I guess I don't need to worry.  They aren't monsters.  Well, any more than little boys regularly are.  They aren't the Ravening, Half Fae, Messed Up Because of Time Jump kind of monsters.  I went to Victoria and babbled for a while until she figured out what I was so upset about and set me straight.  She even showed me the wording and helped me untangle all the gibberish. 


Feb 18th
Still not getting much sleep.  When Henry is gone, I wish He were here.  When He is here, I often wish Him back on His boat.  While He's away, I always forget how underfoot He gets when He is here.  And how He tries to help with the Babies but somehow ends up making things worse.  All until all 3 fall asleep in a charming pile that makes me smile.

Henry's mother went home today.  She has visited most days.  I do believe that the next visit will go much better.  She completely doted on the children and let me get some rest during her visits.  Hopefully she won't make as much of a fuss about my exercises and weapons practice. 

In any case I made arrangements to spend a few weeks with her around Easter.  Henry will only likely be able to make a short visit Easter weekend as he is still on duty.  I think I am planning to go around the middle of March and stay through the middle of April.  I wanted to be home before April 22nd when the London Season begins.  I know that Lady C will need my services with Wilamina at that point.  Hopefully I will be able to keep up!


Feb 22nd
Wow.  Sir Cosmo is now Baron Copperthwaite.  I work for a Baron now.  I. Just. Wow. 

Proceed to An accordion in the distance

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