Excerpts from the diary of Mrs Emily Wooster (Emily Bertilde that was)


I don’t know what to think.  All the people I’m supposed to be caring for went away. 

Wilamina and Lady Copperthwaite and Himself and some of the others went underwater in diving suits.  I couldn’t make myself get in one to go underwater.  What if it sunk to the bottom and got stuck?  The only thing worse than being on top of the water where I can fall in and drown is being in the air above the water where we can crash and fall in and die.  But the worst of all is when you are already under the water and are stuck and you just know you’ll die any minute cause the water is going to come in…

So I told Himself not to die and manned the air hoses with Sir Cosmo (who still wasn’t feeling so well).

Then there was apparently a fight with an octopus. 

There was a message about going through something.

Next thing I knew, Mrs. Samaline and Mrs. Frazer had also gone down.

And then His air hoses started going crazy.  Slack and tight and slack and tight.  And then the motion and sound totally changed.  Sir Cosmo got worried and started fiddling with it.  I pretended I could call Him and told him, “Don’t die.  I haven’t told you yet!”

Then the hose went still.  Although His hose was still making distressing noises.

And then the telegraph went off.  “All is well.  Diving suit damaged.  Inflated snake.  Need to go.”

I don’t know what to think now…

They finally made it back and reported.  Women turning into snakes, explosions, air hoses filling snakes with air.  All crazy…

It’s lots later.  Everyone was talking about going to the moon.  I was going to stay back on the boat with the inspector and the children.  Then He stuck a pod in my mouth and then we started floating up.  I couldn’t stand to watch and so closed my eyes and grabbed onto Him.

Next thing I knew Lady Copperthwait said I could open my eyes.  Just in time to see myself falling the last few feet onto the ground in a bunch of cherry blossoms.  That was mean.  And the last time we were surrounded by cherry blossoms, there was a fight.  I’m hopeful.  If not, He’s in big trouble…

Atlas brought out the mirror he got and there was suddenly a bright light.  As it faded, there was an answering light on the beach.  We went to it.

There were lots of people on the beach.  Apparently they were dead.  Or something.  One recognized me.  Or thought he did.  He also seemed to recognize Lady Coperthwait and Him.  Then the Neemo character showed up.  Then we were surrounded by people aiming guns and swords at us.

We were suddenly surrounded by dark and Wilamina yelling at us to drop.  I got on my knees and crawled toward the ring hoping to find someone with a sword rather than a gun. 

Things got rather confused after that.  I met up with a sword bearing son of a something.  I was all excited.  Finally a fight!  But he was much better than I was.  I don’t recall so well, but I don’t think things went so well after that…

I woke up later with a  ring of concerned faces around and the oddest memory of Him crying…  Mr. Voach offered me a glass of milk.  It was the best milk I’ve ever had.  It was so odd.  It made me think of nice things.  Nice things happening to me and nice things I’ve done…   And He wouldn’t leave my side.  He seemed a bit hysterical.  I’m not sure I want to know what happened to cause that response…

Then we all fell back to the boats.  Luckily, I landed on the boat and not in the water.  Phew!


Proceed to Noooooo!

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