august
i liked it better before i knew that willamina and edward were the same person. back then, if i was working with edward in the shop, it was just edward. now, when we’re out there, wilamina is giving me french lessons. ok. the french lessons mostly consist of asking for tools by their french names, but it’s still annoying. it’s most annoying when i only understand the tool names. blah blah blah blah spanner blah blah blah. but she continues on. maybe some good will even come of this.
***
i’ve had several more dreams involving dancing. i don’t remember anything other than dancing was involved, but... well, i wake up smiling... i wonder what will happen when He comes back. i wonder if He thinks of me at all. i wonder what He’s doing right now... funny. i never thought i would have feelings for anyone, much less a feckless idiot such as He is. but there’s something about him. something that makes me want to melt when He looks at me and smiles. or offers me something. or notices me. what to do...
***
french “lessons” continue. depending on my mood, sometimes i even try to understand all the other stuff besides the tool names.
***
wilamina is acting odd today. she keeps hiding something from me. i hope she’s not going to do something to get herself in trouble.
more oddness. i overheard a couple of the other servants. they seemed to be talking about Him. only they were calling him a cad. something about toying with a girl’s fancy, chasing after servants, and messing about with a princess. then at dinner, a couple of the other servants tried to start up conversations about an article in the newspaper. mrs. sharps wouldn’t let them. i think i need to find this newspaper.
now i know what wilamina has been hiding. there is not a newspaper to be found anywhere in this house... i’d go buy another one, but that would involve spending money! part of me wants desparately to know what He has gotten himself into this time. yet, another part of me doesn’t want to know so that i don’t have to be riminded what a right idiot He is. what to do?
***
finally found a newspaper about Him. He seems to have done something that made some gent who’s father is ruler of some country want to fight a duel with Him over some girl he’s betrothed to who’s father rules another country and now maybe the wedding’s off and the queen is having to step in and try to smooth things out.
how does He manage to do these sort of things! more importantly, what did He do to or with the girl? is the wedding going to be called off so that she can marry Him? i don’t blame the gent who wants to duel with him. i do too. i’m so furious! is He even thinking of me at all? i mean, mrs frazer did try to warn me. but it’s so hard to argue with crazy internal organs. i feel, well, i guess betrayed. i wish i had never met Him! i may never speak to him again! except, of course, to slap him into next week. or run him through. except i might get in trouble for that...
i’m thinking a bow and arrow workout is in order. maybe several different bows and lots and lots of arrows. i mean, one never know when those black pajama guy will show up of a sunday night. or when i might need to shoot arrows in the failing light.
Proceed to More meditation is in order
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