thursday
on our way back to belgium. went shopping in metz before getting
on the train. ladies wanted fabric for new dresses. i went too.
several of my dresses are the worse for wear. darn undead. i had
to spend so much time on poor matilda that i didn't get to do
much with my dress. there was such beautiful fabric. i was slightly
jealous of the fine stuff that the others were buying. they wouldn't
let me find the city ragpickers or second hand stores, but i was
able to find some sturdy fabric that i can work with. i have several
skirts that need new panels and i need several bodices. the amount
of fabric i needed for my projects seemed ruinously expensive
though. i shudder to think about the cost of just the fabric that
the ladies were looking at. never mind all the furbelows that
they use to fancy up their dresses. so i just admired the fabric
without even asking the price. but any dress i wore of that fine
stuff would be in tatters after a single good fight. my plain
stuff will wear much better. it still rips and tears, but the
mending doesn't show so much. and if it gets bloodstained, i can
always dye it dark. i shall probably dye it grey anyway. grey
is good for hiding stains. but that green silk was beautiful.
and the lace was also beautiful. there was one edging pattern
that i particularly liked. the pattern was not so large and elaborate
that i would feel silly wearing it,, and it would make either
a nice trim for a sunday bodice or a pretty edge on underpinnings.
of course, lace on anything that i wear would be silly. i'm sure
it would get destroyed in no time. and i might spend time worrying
about my clothing instead of fighting and lose a battle. someone
could die because i was thinking about my dress! but... i was
in a store with fine fabrics and french lace and all i could do
was look on while the ladies purchased. there are times when i
hate being poor. but then i think about how much bread and stew
i can purchase for that same amount. just a small bit of that
lace would provide several meals for my girls.
i wonder how the girls are doing. this time of the year is almost as bad as the dead of winter. i wonder if anyone i know will fall to heat stroke this year?
i wasn't able to get a replacement for my hairstick knife that was lost. mcgregor was going into the weapons shop. i was pretty sure i either wouldn't be welcome or would be ignored because of my sex. so i handed mcgregor my remaining knife and told him i wanted one JUST LIKE IT. i think i got the point accross that i would be very vexed if i didn't get my remaining knife back. lucky for him my knife is safe in it's sheath and in my hair. too bad the shop didn't have one identicle...
oh. i almost forgot. my paper on a dress for the active woman has been published! ok. it's been edited a bit, but it looks much better. maybe there is something to be said for better syntax and spelling. oh well. miss sinclare did a marvelous job with the illustrations and diagrams. i can't wait to get a copy to otto!
later thursday
we are back in our house in antwerp. i think there was a question
about whether we would be allowed to stay. something about a hole
in the wall. wooster is a silly man.
had to go into town with all the men. i sometimes hate the fact that edward often goes in with the men and not the ladies. especially that cuthbert fellow. i would NEVER sit alone with him. i would rather ride on top. at least wooster wasn't there. he had to sail his boat back.
of course, the some of the men (mcgregor, cuthbert, and atlas) ended up in a bar. and a bar fight none the less. maybe a night in jail will cool them all off. at least i don't have to ride home with them being drunk...
too much traveling. i'm tired. hopefully i shall sleep well tonight and wake refreshed tomorrow.
friday
we are on the train heading for somewhere in holland (floorhooven?)
looking for that odd woman that we threw out of the house a while
ago. i guess i should feel more guilty since ms witnel says they
were treating her badly. i suppose that the level of stupidity
needed to handcuff herself to objects doesn't mean that i should
allow her to be treated poorly by men. why can't all women be
more sensible?
i had the most horrible nightmare last night. samaline wasn't samaline. he was mcgregor. except that i didn't know any mcgregors. and we had this other wierd constable with us. he was so irritating. the last time he and ms witnell almost came to blows, i was ready to go after him with all my weapons out. but i didn't want to lose my job. so i'm glad ms witnel contained herself. i have a hard time staying out of fights when someone else is fighting. especially when those someones are people i have ties to. i haven't known the league long, but i feel like ms witnel and miss sinclare and miss namasty are as close to friends as i have had since poor liza. but back to the dream. i was worried about samaline. he is one of the few men i respect and even like. he has been professional and polite to me. we have done good work together on reworking the ladies weaponswork lessons. he doesn't seem to feel that i am a useless fighter because i am a woman (something that many others have regretted to learn too late...). and he also protects my new friends. i feel safer around him than any other man i know. not that it means anything other than what i just said. besides. ms witnell seems to like him a lot.
in my dream, i heard samaline scream. samaline never screams. george and i went running to find out what was wrong. we got to the door and he was sitting on his cot. he said he had come down with something and asked for mr ramsey. only he didn't know where mr ramseys's room was. that's when i got scared. i sent george off to find mr ramsey and i got ms witnell. only samaline wouldn't talk to ms witnell. when ms cuthbert and mr ramsey were talking to him he was saying something about a dog granting him a wish and it being all ms witnell's fault. poor ms witnel looked like she had been hit upside the head with a brick. she dissapeared for a long time. i decided that samaline needed guarding, so i followed him around.
then everyone started going crazy.
miss namasty went in and whispered him a question which samaline didn't know the answer to. i asked miss namasty what she had asked. she kind of looked at me and said she couldn't remember and maybe she was coming down with whatever samaline had. then miss sinclare started seeing ghosts. at some point, atlas and miss namasty started seeing that horrid man with the big hole in his head who nicked up matilda so badly. they thought we were all in purgatory. or something. I decided it was time for a new note in case something else happened. so i added a bit about sending me back to london care of otto if anything should happen to me. i think i shall have to sew that info in all of my clothing. maybe after i write all this down. we are on the train right now, so there isn't that much to do...
for a while it seemed that only mcgregor was in samaline's body, but then he started having samaline flashbacks. i decided to test something and i tried punching samaline. he reacted just as i thought he should and then muttered something about fighting practiced. then mcgregor came back. i remember being so worried.
later on we found it was a demon. i remember feeling really scared that i would forget more than what that demon already made me forget, so miss sinclare took me to the next room to work with edward. until ms witnel came crashing through the wall being held by a demon. of course i sprang to action.
it was a pretty good fight. i got in several really good scores. too bad they didn't seem to do much with to the demon. except maybe slow it down. the rapier through the eye worked well. pulling it out the messiest way possible also was a good plan. hmm what could i have done differently? because, in the dream, samaline died before the magick users could do whatever to the bobble that samaline kept talking about. to his dying breath, really.
if that is what most people dream, they can
have it! it all seemed so real that i rushed over to samaline's
room when i woke to make sure he was ok. i was so glad find that
samaline was really samaline. it wasn't so much fun watching (or
not...) as ms witnel give him a big kiss. i suppose i should realize
that i might have to play chaperone at some point with all the
engaged couples about. i haven't blushed that much in ages...
why do women seem to lose their sanity when it comes to liking
men?
Proceed to Things to practice
This page copyright 2004 by Jeri Lynn Cornish. All Rights Reserved.