Sans Fig Leaf

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"Proliferation"

9 October, 2003

I've had plants in my office for over a decade. I hadn't really thought about that length of time until this last year, when the company moved to a new building, and I brought all the plants home to assess which ones I'd take to the new place, and so forth. Several of them had been unhealthy for some time, which I usually blamed on the rather large number of moves we did within the building during the last five years. There were just too many periods where some very large plants had had to survive on artificial light alone, which wasn't conducive to healthy growth.

One of the plants that came into my new office is grown from cuttings of the very first office plant I bought back in 1992. It's a golden pothos, and the original plant had vines that had circled my old office a few times, so every winter I would cut some lengths off, bring them home to sprout, and either give the resulting plants to friends or keep them. This particular one has several vines that are looped -- for whatever reason, I stuck both ends of the vine into the pot and let it root at both ends.

The plant seems to like my office's west facing window, because its normal vines have each grown about a foot this last summer, and the looped vines have started to spout these cute little clusters of leaves that are turning into new vines. It's fun to watch the plants grow and change over time. One thing I've learned in all the years I've been raising houseplants (both at home and the office) is that you can't really predict which will flourish, which will languish, and what shapes they'll take. I can pick which plants to put where. I choose what sort of plant food to use. I set the watering schedule. But the plants grow how they wish, if at all.

It's a lot like writing.

I can choose what to start with. I can make plans for the directions I think the characters are going to go. I set up schedules, deciding which days to work on what. I even set goals. But the stories often seem to have a mind of their own. A plot can languish for years before it's ready to bloom. Others spawn related stories like that weed which scatters its seeds when someone touches the stalk. One story after another seems to pour from my fingers about a particular character or set of characters.

I'm sure it must be frustrating for readers. Speaking as a reader, I often wish that a particular author would take a story in a different direction than he did. Or that an author would write more about this or that favorite character. So I sympathize when a reader expresses a desire that I write more of this and less of that.

I sympathize, but I don't acquiesce. I suppose some of them think that I'm being stubborn. I've even seen people take it as a personal insult if I (or another author) says, "I'm working on other things right now, but I hope to get back to that, someday."

It's not said out of malice or contempt. Our muses are fickle. Yeah, the story comes from my imagination, but it grows and developes in my subconcious, which is extremely resistant to conscious control. And it can be just as frustrating for the writer as it is for the reader.

I can't count how many hours I've spent working on a story, writing and rewriting a scene, trying to move the plot along. But it won't go. The dialogue doesn't sound right. The situation just doesn't ring true. Or every sentence is just awkward and cliched. Sometimes I feel like pounding my head against the keyboard. Especially if I know that there are readers who want to know what happens next.

But the harder I push, the worse it becomes. It's like trying to push water uphill with a rake. There always comes a point when I realize I have to set it aside. I pick up another story, one that I set aside some months or years before, and suddenly, the words just flow. This one is ready, and my fingers almost can't keep up, the plot and dialogue is coming together so quickly.

When the story is ready, it's like I'm riding an immense wave. Not being swept along perfectly to the destination, no. It's more like surfing. The water supplies the power, but I have to find the right spot, keep my balance, and steer around the obstacles.

And it's a heck of a lot of fun.