Sans Fig Leaf

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"The Season of Light"

23 December, 2002

The tree was gorgeous. The house neat, tidy, and freshly decorated with flowers and shiny snowflakes. A table was laden with food brought by many people to share. And everything was bathing in a loving glow.

It was our group's annual Holiday Party. A bunch of people who have a common interest in art and writing gathering on the third Saturday of December to celebrate.

Presents were exchanged, though that isn't the point of the gathering. In the early years I used to go to great lengths to keep people from talking about the presents in advance. I didn't want anyone to opt out of attending because they didn't or couldn't bring gifts.

The point was to get together, share some food and laughter, and if anyone had anything to read we'd do that, as well. The gifts are fun, but they aren't the primary purpose.

It's the sharing. And this group has a lot to share. As I was standing there watching people chat and laugh, I thought, "this is what those loving holiday scenes in movies and christmas cards is supposed to be; this is the quality they are trying to capture; this is what so many families long for, but seldom acheive."

The joy of being together with people who are there because they want to be with you. The delight of thoughtful gifts. The smiles. The hugs. It's a powerful feeling. One quickly becomes addicted to it.

Maybe it's so powerful because our relationships are all chosen. Atheist, agnostic, christan, buddhist, taoist, and pagan sitting and laughing together. Maybe it's so powerful because we need it to be.

All I know is that my friends are truly extraordinary people. There is nothing I have done nor could ever do to deserve such a wealth of friends. I just have to accept it as a blessings and be thankful.

I don't know what the secret of our long successful set of friendships is. I wish I knew how to package some of the success and send it to others less fortunate. I wish I could bottle up some of my happiness to share with those who are sad.

All I can do is tell everyone who will listen: the light is real, love is real, friendships can be deep, long-lasting, and selfless. I didn't find such friendships by going out and looking for them. I found them by just trying to be a good friend. Not everyone that I have tried to offer friendship to has reciprocated, but neither my strength nor my hope was diminished by the effort.

I have received back love and trust a hundredfold, perhaps even a thousandfold. So I will gladly continue to share what I have.

May everyone who reads this find the love and light they want. And remember, when you find it, pass it on.