"More than Plumbing"

22 June, 2000 - Happy Pride Month!

I was reading an interview on-line recently in which a woman, who has two or three sons and grew up with three brothers, was asked to give her perspective on the differences between men and women. She insisted flatly that there are none. "Other than the physical differences, everything else is all about nurture."

I realize in the early 70s this hogwash was not only politically correct, but it was generally accepted by psychologists and developmental sociologists, too. More recently medical, neurological, and psychological scientists have realized that this isn't true. When a fetus is just weeks old it begins producing its own sex hormones, and those hormones begin effecting everything, including the brain, from early on. While it could be argued that this is a "physical difference" I suspect that the behavioral implications of these differences are not what the aforementioned woman had in mind.

But without going into all the research that's come out lately about neurological structures, learning styles, and so forth, I have a much simpler proof. I have a friend who is currently going through gender-reassignment therapy. He was born female, but never felt that that was his true gender identity. He has been receiving hormone treatments for some time, and is undergoing other medical treatments, in addition to counselling and classes to help him make the social and behavioral transition.

And he said something some time back that answers the question about differences between males and females far more realistically. "I was watching that show, Tool Time, the other day, and I never understood, all this time, when the guys would go 'Arrh! Arrh! Arrh! Arrh!' But about six weeks after I started taking the hormones, suddenly it all made sense." And then he made the ape-like sound and rotated a fist in the air.

So here was a person who, genetically, is female, was raised throughout childhood in a very traditional way as female. At the time of this conversation, he still physically had all the "plumbing" of a female. But after a short time on male hormones, an entirely new way of perceiving the world, and a new emotional framework, suddenly slid into place.

At least since the time that Dr. Kirschfeld first coined the word "homosexual" and argued that such people were not sick, but simply different and deserving of full and equal rights under the law, the movement has had a difficult time coming to grips with the transgendered among us--people who feel that their true identity is different than the physical gender their body presents.

Some of that discomfort we feel is clearly cultural. We have all been taught from a very early age to react to males differently than females. Just witness how any stranger meeting a new parent with a tiny infant in a stroller finds it difficult to even look at the child without knowing whether it's a boy or a girl. We have to know which it is before we coo at it or comment on it in any way.

And those of us who are gay but don't feel a conflict between our physical gender and our inner selves get tired of having to explain that over and over. Sometimes the exasperation turns to vehemence. That doesn't even get into trying to explain how drag does or doesn't fit into the equation, depending on the individual.*

One in every two hundred babies are born with anomalous genitalia, some so anomalous that doctors can not even guess which gender the child is genetically. There is enormous pressure on medical professionals and parents to quickly take a surgical route to assign a gender, and usually to keep the knowledge from the child as long as possible. Those are just the ones that are physically obvious. There are others for whom the anomaly is more deeply seated. Maybe it's genetic in some cases, maybe it's something more spiritual. I don't think most of us mere mortals are qualified to judge.

I've always had trouble with any system that views things in a strictly binary fashion. Right or wrong, good or bad, and finally male or female. I don't think the world really works that way. But I also don't think that there are no differences at all. It's more than just the plumbing that defines who we are. Just as it is more than just who we have sex with or are attracted to.

In one sense, all of us who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered are gender warriors. All of us are asking for respect for who and what we are: not as interchangeable, sexless beings who are molded by our upbringing into one of a small number of possible roles, not as beings whose lives are dictated by our genders, and not as imperfect or diseased freaks. Simply as ourselves. Whatever form that self may take.

We have to remember that. As Ben Franklin said, we must all hang together, or we shall surely hang separately.

*Just as a side note, I want to say that while I have done drag, you really don't want me to repeat it. I'm the sort of guy who gets five o'clock shadow about three seconds after I shave, and do you know how hard it is to shave your fingers? That's right, I don't have fuzz on my arms and the backs of my hands or my fingers, I have FUR. As a comedy routine, I can do drag, and my vocal range includes alto, so I don't have to lip-synch, either, but I really think I should leave it to the people who are fabulous at it, okay? back to article

This page is copyright 2000 by Gene Breshears. Photograph is copyright 1998 by Julie Rampke. All Rights Reserved.